In a couple of days I’ll have been here for 3 months.
What on earth have I been doing?
Not publishing much on my blog, that’s for sure.
I just logged in for the first time in a while and checked the how many views of the blog stats. Unbelievable; I thought it’d be about 12.
It should be easy to paste the chart thingy here but having spent an age trying to work out how, I realised that this is one of the reasons I don’t publish stuff… I get sidetracked (BOOM *reason not to write* no. 1), so I figured it’s easier just to type them.
All time itsnotallaboutmybombom views total 84.
30 of those are from Australia, which means dear Miss H checks my blog more often than I do. Either that or the lovely Linzi happened upon it when I shared a link to her website (sorry – I later deleted that post because I felt it was too personal BOOM *2. I’ll do another link to it in a minute because I’m going to mention you very soon and not delete this one.)
26 views from Jersey.
I imagine my dad checked it once, showed it to my mum, perhaps she forced my son to have a peek, and that the rest are Nicki with a ‘C’ and The Ninny. Possibly Miss Bobby Marmite checked it once or twice. I might have given Barb the link and that’s about it. What a following.
Portugal 18 views. Errrr, probably me.
United States 6 and Ireland 4.
Given that I’ve only passed the web address onto a handful of people (because I’ve been too shy BOOM *3 to share the link on facebook) and I don’t know anyone in the US or Ireland, I suspect some poor souls suffering from a horsefly infestation were trying to find some helpful advice regarding their situation. Apologies if that’s the case. I have, since the previous post, discovered some invaluably useful information and almost foolproof methods for dealing with horseflies – I’ll share them on another post once I’ve finished with Kaboom!
I only hope they’re of use to you.
Other reasons I still haven’t been writing
Flies – covered previously and comes under *1 – Distractions
BomBom – as above
Fear BOOM *5. This is a big one. I don’t feel brave enough to publish what I’ve written most of the time. Sometimes I write a draft and then I’m too frightened to publish it because I think it either
– reveals too much about myself *2 – Personal
– isn’t funny or clever or interesting *6 – Modesty/lack of confidence?
– gives away my location and I might get stalked * joking
– is a bit grumbly and I should be being positive and thankful and not grumbly *7
– isn’t entirely honest *8
– is too honest *2 – Personal again
– refers to someone who might not like what I’ve written if they ever read it and they might feel hurt, angry, disappointed, or even in one particular case, flattered, which I certainly don’t want. *9 – Libel Slander Lawsuit
There are more but I’m beginning to bore myself.
So, what I have been doing?
I’ve been looking after the horses and walking the dogs and doing a fair bit of cooking and cleaning. My work hours range between 3 and 5 (or maybe 6 at the very most) hours a day, 7 days a week.
I’ve been surfing and bouldering and sitting on the beach, usually reading and/or thinking.
I must confess I’ve done a little plucking but not as much as I’ve done in the past, and I’ve convinced myself that it helps me think. For those of you who’ve never witnessed me with a pair of tweezers, please let me reassure you that I do mean plucking; it’s not a euphemism.
I play on facebook more than I should. I email friends and family. I’ve made a few friends at the beach that I chatter with if I’m feeling sociable. I can’t be bothered to do bold any more.
I drive around a lot, mostly looking for perfect waves. I explore the dirt tracks that often lead to nowhere but my Kangoo loves them. I drink wine. I like wine. I like drinking wine. And it’s so inexpensive. It’s cheaper than buying water.
God I love wine.
I’ve also done some occasional shopping, sent some postcards and little gifts to a few of my favourite people and helped Norberto with building a new stable.
I’ve avoided making decisions (even the most basic ones, like which beach to go to) by throwing my dice or tossing a coin.
But the thing I’m supposed to be doing, the goal, the priority, the dream!
I’ve not been doing it.
I thought writing a blog would help me to get into the habit of writing, but I haven’t even been writing a blog.
I write in my diary, every day. I write the date. I do a little picture to represent the weather. I keep an account of where I’ve been, what I’ve done and who I’ve seen. If I’ve had a bad day I write about how I’m feeling and why. If I’ve had a particularly good day I usually finish with a ‘NICE DAY’ comment. I underline the spot I surfed in and any highlights.
It’s more of a record of what I’ve done, in truth, than a diary. The idea is that when I’m old (yes, Mrs L, I know it’s not that far off but I’ll never be as old as you) and want to do some sighing and reminiscing, I’ll be able to dig it out of a box and smile fondly as I recall the golden sunny days of my escape to Portugal.
However, if I’m unfortunate enough to suffer from dementia or some similar loss of mental faculty, I will have absolutely no idea what I did because most of the entries read like this ‘Did horses and walked dogs, went to Zavial, Ingrina, Mareta, Beliche, Tonel, Cordoama, Castelejo, gave up and went home, did the horses, walked the dogs, cooked dinner for the family, read book, snuggled up in bed with Bom and read my book.’ and I’ll be sitting nodding, probably frowning, saying to myself ‘I wish I’d taken more photos.’
I also write lots of lists. Mostly of things I need to do which I then mostly don’t.
One of my most commonly written lists looks like this..
Write some blog.
Write the book.
Learn some Portuguese.
Then I make a cup of tea, roll a cigarette, brush my teeth, eat some snacks, bake a cake, go out to give the horses some carob, try to teach the Jack Russells to ‘sit/senta’ (there are three of them. Tina started to obey about a week ago and DJ did it today for the first time – that was so exciting I did a little dance – Buddha, the puppy, is better at bouncing than sitting, but she’ll learn), swat flies, roll another cigarette, oo that reminds me. Here’s an example of another list I regularly write..
Eat more fruit
Drink more water
I don’t know why I bother writing lists.
I’ve digressed. Another thing I’m good at. Back to the point.
Kaboom! It’s time. I’m going to start writing the book. Properly.
And I’m going to write something on here
every single day much more regularly! (Updated after MASSIVE FAIL)
I’m not going to give up smoking or drink more fruit because the priority is to write.
I’m not going to worry about who thinks what about the content of my blog because I’m not forcing anyone to read it.
I’m going to check the stats regularly because it motivates me to write something when I realise that people are waiting for me to do so and I hate to think of one of you fabulous people clicking on itsnotallaboutmybombom to find that I haven’t written anything.
So, here I go. Starting from now.
Thank you, Miss Bobby Marmite, for the wonderful book you sent me
I sat on the beach yesterday afternoon (avoiding the Boxing Day lunch crowd in the horsey house) and read a few pages then wrote some lists about what I’m good at and what I love and what I want and it was just what I needed 🙂 x
Thank you, Linzi Wilson of Hello Glow (http://www.helloglowcoaching.com/) for being such an inspiration. Every time I read one of your articles, emails or updates I admire your honesty, enthusiasm and openness and I want to be just like you when I grow up 😉 I hope you ask for whatever you want and get it, because if anybody deserves it, you do.
And I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to steal your ‘three awesome things’ idea and tweak it a little x
And last but not least, thank you to my dear departed Great Aunt Bessie for enabling me to spend the last three months meandering about and thinking about what I want to do and the next who knows how many months doing it. xxxX